I realized I haven’t posted anything at all for a while now, not even on my personal blog. I’m torn between feeling guilty and feeling relieved. I just haven’t had the time nor the drive and inspiration. So many good things have happened since I’ve been spending less time on this social network, and I haven’t felt happier (as much as my stress-due-to-work-and-finals tired face would bet to differ). I’m about to work full time at my job, hoping to save enough to be able to be a full time student next semester, and there are just so many things I’d like to do over the summer. I want to be with my friends, document everything, and fit a hundred s’mores sessions into every bit of free time we’ve got. I have a new puppy-a feisty little jack russell-and I want to make sure he gets every bit of attention he needs. I want to buy my parents and friends nice things with my paychecks, get back to oil painting, and gosh I could go on and on. I guess what I’m saying is that I can’t do any of this if I feel like I owe the Internet. You don’t understand how many hours I’ve spent locked up in my room away from my family and friends trying to muster up something so as not to disappoint any of you. I was able to accumulate an amazing audience and I suppose that’s where the guilt creeps in. I feel like I’m letting you guys down, however, art-or whatever your passion may be-it should never make you feel like it’s something you HAVE to do. It shouldn’t be something you do to please others, and it should never feel like it’s bringing you more stress and negative vibes. Whatever motivates you to wake up each day should be something you love to do, that you can’t go a day without doing. I suppose this isn’t my calling. Maybe it is, I don’t know yet. I’ll figure it out eventually. Right now though, I cannot do this anymore. Not for a long while at least. I truly hope you understand, and thank you for everything. I love you all. Best of wishes for you and your life. Loser pride!
As you all have realized, I’ve been taking a rather long hiatus. I try not to think about this because I start to feel really sad and guilty; as if I’m letting all of you down, as well as myself. I’m drawing again and getting comfortable with my style and whatnot and hopefully will be uploading soon. Until then, stay GR8 :-)
I’m about to empty out my inbox guys. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. Not really I guess. Just a lot of memories between me and you all. I wish I had so much time in the world to connect with you guys more, but my life has been a whirlwind of work, school, art projects, and social life (which I finally have!).
A few quick (pretty much unimportant to you all) updates:
- I got a 97 on my informative speech this morning
- I’ve had a job since october of last year
- I’ve had the wonderful opportunity of displaying my art at an awesome local music and arts festival with many great artists, both musical and well..artistical?
- I’m having an interview for the University of Pan American’s magazine “Pandora” for it’s artists section
- Everything is fine and dandy with my closest friends (at last!)
- I’ve never been so successful with my mini-goals and personal life
I’m sendin’ u guys positive vibes through my screen ~~~~
I’ll upload stuff soon! Stay GR8! :~)
p.s.: I will love you more if you send nice messages occasionally :*